Blogs of thoughts...

I've completely lost count of how many days let alone months that I've been in Australia or Mels... It's kind of feeling very much my home right now. But this is just all adventure that life has become I'm constantly being stretched, challenged and transformed into a better version of my self. I haven't got much to report of my adventures at this moment in time.. Mainly been celebrating my birthday last month and enjoying the friends I feel like I've known forever. This post is not so much a list of things I've been doing or the plans that I have. I feel I just wanna write a few thoughts that I feel worth sharing. 

If you have a faith or not I think we all do maybe not always in the same thing but we generally have faith in something. As you all know I have a faith in God the creator of the universe and my close and best friend, My first love and my everything. I'm not much the same person I came to Australia with I'm not the girl that my parents said there goodbyes to at the airport.. Fact is okay to them they may still see and always see me as there little girl. I'm not I'm a women now and proud of who I am becoming. I've not so much changed in terms of who I am but I've changed because I'm becoming a new version the real version or myself. The one God chose and created me to be, I'm just different but good different. 

I remember some many people asked me why I'm going to Australia anyways and I always said the same thing I'm coming to find myself and truth is I know who I am now but I'm not fully who I was created to be. I have to say I've got to this point where when I look in the mirror I don't pick all my faults as a female that's something in some girls it's a huge thing and in others it's not soo... Ps it happens to guys to... But I'm one the those who used to look and see a ugliness... But that's not me actually I now see beauty looking back at me.  

Too things I want to share are psalm 139! And 2 Corinthians 3:18 

Psalm 139 for me has always been a favourite psalm of mine but how many times in the past I read and thought nah... 

Now I see!! 

God thought of me first 

Gods plan A is Rosie 

When I was knitted together I was knitted for a purpose like a scarf or a sweater but better... 

My life has been planned 

Gods love for us is intense, passionate and Deep... 

We a fearfully and wonderful made 

And then I think though I don't fully know my self 

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

 (2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV)

That my transformation is a process and it just keeps going... 

So me finding my self is not really going to fully happen till I'm with Jesus in heaven.. But that's okay because until then I still get to see glimpses... 

But the wonderful thing is that God is invested in us even if we are not invested but truly the transformation happens when we ourselves are willing to be invested too... God waits for us and never stops waiting... 

I'm sorry is this wasn't a read you thought I would be but it's a update with my faith running through it... Don't be surprise !! 

But all I know is the journey keeps on going and God knows and he's in control that's all that matters...

Love 

Rosie  

Few snaps: 

Birthday party pics 

Trip to neighbours 

Out and about 

Matty 21st 

More beautiful Rosie...

You don't have to sit and read it but I'm not doing this to big anyone up I'm doing this one and only to tell you that God is Real and amazing and he transforms and restores us. If you don't have a faith that's cool but I hope you feel blessed reading it anyways... If you have any questions just ask... 

This is a true story of a girl whose life was a mess... 

One day there was a little girl born on 20/5/1989 and her parents took her too church from a very early age but she had her own pain... This is my story Gods story... 

I always heard the stories at a child of Noah and Joseph but this God was just a story to me and if he was real he was a pretty angry God because of all I knew. My life I was bullied every moment I can remember and I didn't really have a great relationship with my family I didn't feel love or acceptance from anyone. All through pre school and primary I was bullied which lead to me believing that all I was nothing and no body could love me. I believe that I was rubbish a failure and I first remember when I was ten or eleven I begun to self harm myself and begun to feel and atempt to take my life but something always stopped me.. I went to a church in a different area which a family member recommend to us as a family to go to... I didn't really have real friends at school a lot of let downs by many people and of course I didn't believe I could be liked and that everyone I went to school with hated me or bullied me. But I made friends at the church and I kept going to church till one day the pastors wife asked me and my brother if we would like to go to a Christian event for a week I was happy too... This was in 2002 I went but that flipped everything over for me. God was angry at me he didn't love me.. I was told by one of the leaders why aren't we raising our hands in worship and I also heard people speak in weird lanagues so I freaked out by the end of the week I completely disliked Christian faith church and specially God so for a while I believed God hated me and didn't care about me... The self harming got worse but I suffered in silence and just went to church because of friends. Soon after my family left the church and I stopped going and went to a different youth and suffered in silence and lived in fear of God but somehow  every time I went to take my life something pulled me back. I had a thing of boys and always had a new boyfriend every week at school and just kept getting bullied. But Then one Sunday morning 2003 I was 13 I went with my dad to the church again we had been going to and the pastors wife asked me again if I wanted to go to the event again. I decide that as it was in a different place and my boyfriend was going I would go. I had lots of friends from the church that I got on well so that pulled me to go. Then in the place I was in depressed self harming and angry and confused about God I went in one of the session lead by a group of people I felt comfortable to Go and try this God out. I felt like how can my life get any worse if I make this commitment. Someone pray for my situation and I felt like God tapped me on the shoulder and said I will never leave or let you down, I felt like this God was someone I wanted to know as a friend. But really since that day I still haven't truly lived with the idea that I am loved or anything that I slowly stopped self harming and for a while it was okay moments but God loving me was far from my mind really.. 

Then I became a youth worker feeling like that is my calling but this in turn slowly dragged me away from the idea of God.. And Christians and church. During two different ocassions I was bullied by leaders in these places they wrecked me further more I went into depression. However I got through four years of uni just about... I've been dealing with a relapse of depression in the last year and a half of uni this time last year I was sucidal a mess lost so far from God but I Got through university. However after leaving my job in August 2013 I went on a wild rampage in Australia with God at the back of my mind and freedom to find myself and do what I wanted I rebeled, Drinking, drugs and bad relationships. But God convicted me one night that he wasn't in the search I was doing. I believe I was nothing for 22 years it was finally my chance to no longer conform to peoples Christian agendas deal with churches judgement on me and what mould they had for me and just numb it with something new. But God told me that one lonely night I was in Innisfail that I didn't belong here. Someone told me something but all I heard was I think you should just Leave this place I don't think you belong here. So I felt God called me to Melbourne so I booked a flight and left for Melbourne and the moment I stepped of the plane I felt so much peace. I truly felt God had called me to Melbourne. In the first week I found a job and was able to house sit while they were away. But in my heart I knew I needed to find my true search and that meant setting foot in a church. I search online for churches I found two and decide the best place would be balwyn Wesleyan Methodist Church and as soon as I arrived I knew God had brought me there the moment someone spoke to me and welcomed me and introduced me to some people my age... In that service I felt free to worship God more free than I've felt in 6 years. Then they invited me to lunch and I felt completely blessed for God to introduce me to these people which soon became my friends. But my faith was always a Sunday thing again and I felt convicted to change this so I started to read the bible and spend time with God. Then slowly Easter too me became something real... Soon after Easter one of my friends had a near death experice where God healed her moraiously And from that moment I realised that God is real and he's right here with us.. Slowly over the month after it happened I started to realised more stuff about God.

THEN 20th May 2014 I experienced God in a completely knew way. I woke up that morning thinking it was just gonna be one of those days normal birthday but no pressies just a normal day work look after the kids that was it. But as I awoke to spend sometime with God I hear the kids saying can I tell her can I... Then I come out of my room sit at the table on my phone and the kids say happy birthday and I'm like thanks and they tell me they've got pressies for me so they came back and there's the three kids and there mum with a handle full of pressies and I'm like blown away and I get God saying in my head your loved... Then they day goes we have a afternoon tea when the kids get back from school and afterwards at about five I text my friend a ask him if he could pick me up so I can come to Young Adults group and I arrive but I feel so happy and I'm like can we go to maccas at the end and celebrate and they tell me yeah good plan... But it turns out afterwards they won't let me in the kitchen until one of my friends comes and gets me we go to the kitchen and I'm blown away one of my friends has made me a cake.. And then God just says I love you too in my heart it's like I feel it I realised something he's been telling me all along... God loves me me me... He loves me I finally know in my heart deep in the depths of my heart in my gut that God loves me and it's the best birthday ever because the best present ever is God loves me me me... And I know in my heart that God lives in me... I know I am loved so much by some many people and firstly I'm loved by God... God was the thing that stopped me taking my life God was in my friends I now seen where Gods hand has been guiding me all through my life with out him I wouldn't be alive today... FACT 

I'm still be transformed and God is still working through me but this is a new chapter in my life. I chance to say I forgive and I am forgiven... 

God has plans and a purpose for me what that is I'm not sure... 

I hope that you've enjoyed reading this Christian or not this is my story Gods story and I don't think no one could argue with my experience whether you believe or not... 

Thanks for reading the shorter but also long part of my walk with God still on going.... 

Love 

Beautiful Rosie stay tuned for the next insult meant of my adventures..